The Pentagon
Sharon Ann Carver, 38, Waldorf, MD
I was one of the lost. I needed a lot of help once it happened and I wasn’t sure how long it would take until I would feel like I didn’t need the help anymore. It wasn’t anger; it wasn’t sadness. It was just the questions, “where am I?” and “what do I do now?”
I remember seeing everything in reverse, going back to how the day started, all the way to how I started. It was like it was happening in reverse, but I was seeing all of it at the same time. It was just that fast. And then I felt that my whole life had happened that fast. It never feels like that while you’re in it – except for when you feel that a day, a week, a year has gone by quickly. When you see it all in that one moment, in only feels like it has been a moment.
Unable to move on right away, I spent a lot of that initial time amongst the people on Earth: watching as they watched, felt as they felt, and was surrounded by their grief. But the more time I spent there, the less I was able to pull away and go on with my own journey. I found myself sadder and sadder and knew that this was not right. I didn’t belong here anymore and I would not find out why, by continuing on this way.
I want my family to know that I did hear you. I heard every word and felt every prayer. You helped me to move on, because you knew I needed you. You knew I needed your guidance and your help out, so I could go on to something better. I heard you, I felt you, I love you. I hope you feel the love I send back to you.
For all the hard times on Earth, there is a certain separation anxiety when it’s time to leave and I think that’s what I was afraid of feeling. I was used to here. I knew here. I knew my life and I didn’t know what was coming next. I didn’t fear anything bad; it was just the feeling of the unknown. I had been assured by many that I had nothing to be afraid of, but it’s like when you’re little and your parents have to leave you with someone. They promise they’ll be back, but you still fear that they won’t. It’s wondering what happens to you next, when they aren’t there anymore.
But at one moment, I was just ready to go. I felt that I had seen, heard, and felt everything I had needed to here, and I was ready to move on; ready to say goodbye to what I had known, and ready to see what was next in my journey. As soon as I was ready, everything was better. I didn’t feel afraid anymore, and since I had left the Earth plane, I also didn’t have the instant memory of grief and pain.
The grief and pain are necessary in life. Everything we experience is. But when you are ready to move on, when you are ready to feel better and see what’s next, you will. When you are ready, you will know. You will be ready to open the curtains and let in the new day. You will just know. So, don’t push yourself. Let yourself see and feel what you need to see and feel. When you’re ready to move on, you’ll just know it.
